Starting the second half of my life I thought I had everything figured out. Instead I was now watching my life fall apart again! Now what do I do with the rest of my life?
Owning and operating my own fitness facility in a small town was a dream come true. Most of my clients soon felt like family because 95% of my clients I loved and appreciated. My new love relationship seemed to be different from others I had, in a good way. No longer was I responsible for my children because they were now living their own independent lives. My health and fitness were only getting better. The area I resided in was once one of my holiday destinations. People were so friendly and the country was so conducive to making my dreams reality. Yes I had it all! For a while I was on top of the world. Well things changed, as they do, and so did I, forever growing and evolving with new insights to live by.
It seems I have been on a spiritual quest for as long as I can remember. I thankfully decided to be born of parents who were deeply religious and made a point of raising all their children in the faith of our ancestors. Following blindly in their religious footsteps was not going to be a part of my life. I had to find my own path to walk. This set me up with a foundation to begin my life on an ever evolving journey to this day.
Being the curious one that I was, I asked a lot of questions and listened to a lot of answers. Quite often the answers I received did not resonate with me or made no sense at all whatsoever. I was also raised to be respectful and obedient of my elders and expected to be seen and not heard. Well that was the era I was born into. This made it so much harder for me to find the spiritual information I was seeking which was not shared, observed or experienced by my family.
When the time came to leave my sheltered childhood home, I was free to be more open and receptive to other influences such as new life experiences and provocative thoughts and ideas. Obviously so many of these fell by the wayside holding no merit for me whatsoever. Over the years of exploration I have known deep down in my soul what held true meaning for me and gave me the knowledge to live and make sense of my life today.
Getting to a point in my life where every day was becoming emptier and lonelier, I was at a complete loss of why I still even existed. Absolutely nothing was making sense to me anymore.
One of the questions I kept asking myself was why did the things that happened in my life happen? After all, I am a good person and I don’t deserve this. Why do we have to die the way we do? Why do we really have to go through the motions of a life? I was depressed and I wasn’t living a joyous and fulfilling life anymore. It was about this time I earnestly started seeking answers that did make sense for my existence.
When I absolutely knew this wasn’t the only life I will or have lived, things completely turned around for me. I knew that I chose to have these life experiences and grow from them. Now how could I do that if all I did was choosing to not move forward and to stay in despair? I certainly knew I did not want to relive some of these life lessons again in another life. I decided to start living like a victor instead of a victim of life’s circumstances.
It’s true that most of my life lessons are not as harsh as some other soul’s chosen experiences have been, but still I felt pain and despair and wondered if I would get through it. It turns out what I needed is a new mindset that is based on a belief system that I truly resonate with. This sounds so simple and easy and it is when you finally have that mindset. Now life is constantly testing me and reinforcing my beliefs in such a positive, fulfilling and joyous manner. Now I am looking forward to the life I have taken responsibility for creating.